Dairies of a Mad Man...the conclusion (we hope!)

Well, I'm sure a couple of you are wondering "Just what in the hell happened to RacerX six years ago?" and others are probably saying "Quite frankly, I could care less."

So, without further adue I will try to give a reasonable account of just what all exactly transpired, starting roughly six years ago and ending in the present, in hopes that it will explain the Mad Man's absence...and answer the question of those whom were curious (and hopefully not annoy those whom weren't).

As I remember, our Mad Man (RacerX) had just won the most coveted trophy on this planet: the first ever Shamu World Driving Championship. The year was 2002, and Michael Schumacher himself has been quoted as saying that his career means NOTHING without a SWDC Trophy. Really, I heard him say it myself! I digress...

The honor of being recognized as the greatest pilot of all time (anyone whom wins a SWDC is the greatest pilot, period.) was a little over whelming at first. The fame came with a huge price. The adjustment from being a humble, no name pilot from Texas, to becoming a Paparazzi hounded photo whore was simply too much for the Mad Man to handle. It started off with just an extra beer here, another twelve pack there. It would help to take the shyness away...

Over time, it got to the point where it took a mere case of cold ones just to numb the pain, to assist him to step out on the town, and show his face publicly. Eventually, he realized he couldn't even go to the movies without being hounded for autographs here, or pictures there. Always the giving kind, RacerX soon became depressed knowing that there simply wasn't enough time in the day to sign ALL the autographs, and take ALL the pictures his fans demanded. It was becoming unbearable. Again, he found sanctuary in the bottom of a glass.

Eventually he drank himself into a coma.

This coma lasted for almost six full years!!! Te doctors tried EVERYTHING to bring this Mad Man around, but nothing...nothing seemed to work. They not dare pull the plug on this vegetable, for after all, he was the greatest pilot to ever don driving gloves!

After practically giving up on the man, doctors decided to leave him in his own private room with nothing but a TV and a (really, really hot) nurse to keep him company! (OK, I might be making up the really, really hot nurse part...but it's my story and I'm sticking to it!) The nurse (whom really was hot) would read to him daily. knowing he was the greatest pilot ever, she chose to read motorsport race results & any other odd motorsporting news she could come across. When she couldn't read, she simply put Speed Channel on the TV and left it on all night.

(There is a great story that should go here about the really, really hot nurse taking advantage of the poor helpless RacerX, but it's X-rated and thought best to be left out of the public forum.)

Nothing seemed to change the Mad Man's status. If anything, he fell deeper and deeper into the coma. Then suddenly, one day, some six years into his loooooong dream, the Nurse read a small article out of the newspaper, and like magic it seemed to awaken the Mad Man. At first she was shocked and in disbelief...she wasn't really sure she had heard the Mad man speak. She continued reading the article and sure enough not only did he speak, he sat right up in his bed cheering.

It seems the article was exactly what this Mad Man NEEDED to hear, to be able to continue living. The news this article contained was what made life worth living!

A few months of physical rehab & the Mad Man was up and walking like he hadn't missed a beat. Fortunately for him, he was simply a lost memory of the fans & paparazzi. Knowing he could never take back to the track on 4 wheels (after all there was/is nothing left to prove after you are simply the greatest pilot the world has ever known - and we all know this because he won the first ever SWDC) this Mad Man decided he needed to move on, but couldn't leave the track all together.

In no time at all the Mad Man picked up a new hobby: Sportbikes!!!

Now the Mad Man will practice, practice & practice until he can yet again become a champion...but this time, it will be on TWO wheels!!!

So, now you know the rest of the story...here we are, six years after the fact, and the Mad Man returns...returns with a new passion. A passion to become the first pilot to ever win both a SWDC on four wheels, and another SWDC on two wheels...a passion to become the first ever Shamu Sportbike World Drivers Champion!!!

Let the new season begin!!!!!


Now I'm sure some of you are wondering just what was that all important article that the (really, really super hot) nurse was reading to the Mad Man that day.

And I'm sure the rest of your are just asking yourselves: Why did I waste my time reading all this...

Either way...I'll let you in on just what it was that brought the Mad Man back from the dead. The article was simply titled:

"Michael Schumacker To Return To F1"


Needless to say, the "other" great one's return to F1 didn't pan out, however the "other" great one can be held directly reposnible for the Mad Man's return, and his return on two wheels...I mean hell, IF Micheal Freaking Schumacher can ride a sport bike, then by God RacerX can ride one too!!!

Ah yes, it's good to be King!!!

OK, hopefully this brings a conclusion to the Diaries of a Mad Man! Some closure for all whom followed this crazy bastards rantings from sooooo long ago.

Only time will tell.....

For the rest of you whom couldn't give a damned...I can only say I don't blame you, but why in the hell would you read all this stuff???

Regards,
RacerX

RacerX wrote:

but why in the hell would you read all this stuff???

RacerX, you forgot to tell us about the hot nurse's mammary glands (DAIRIES).

RACER X! LOL! The funny thing is that even before I read the final part of that story I was thinking "What article...the one about MS returning to F1?" looks like I was right! You may have been missed...but you were never truly gone!

Rob- Obviously you are an astute young man and caught the "(There is a great story that should go here about the really, really hot nurse taking advantage of the poor helpless RacerX, but it's X-rated and thought best to be left out of the public forum.)" portion of the last entry into Diaries of a Mad Man.

Here's the deal, A soon to be published hardbound copy of "Diaries Of A Really, Really Hot Nurse - and Her Warm, Firm, Supple Mammories" can be purchased in advance simply by sending a small nominal fee, hardly worth mentioning, to:

RacerX - I want the book
735 Got Pictures Lane
Austin, TX 78745

The origianl hard copy sells for $19.99, but if I were you, I'd hold out for the coffee table version due out this Spring with full color pictures! It's a steal at just $49.95!!!!


Dani- ROFL...thanks! I figured I was being too predictable, but what the heck...it's been a long time since I've had to do any creative writing...LOL! Thanks again, and have a great week!!!! Later...

Regards,
RacerX

Now playing: Ozzy Osboob - Dairy of a Madman...

...followed by Atom Heart Mother...

Oh man, I suppose that means I will have to challenge you to a 2 wheel race then.....

Wuff! What a story! You have made me 6 years younger (which means I can't drive my car anymore)

I always wondered if you and Consuelo - my evil and shameless twin - had ran into the sunset together. After all she was the one who reported the races and results of the SWDC. Could she have been the really, really hot nurse? ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... wait a minute, I AM the NURSE, she was just a stinking journo. The bitch has done it again!

The thought that she could reappear makes my stomach turn upside down....

Linky.

Just one problem... *cough*...

This doesn't explain what happened to the socks...

Senninha wrote:Just one problem... *cough*...

This doesn't explain what happened to the socks...

That's under thanks Henrik.

Hahaha! All we need is for Henrik to randomly say "Kinky!" and this could be 2002!

I think kinky would fit better on your wannabe rockstar thread...

The origianl hard copy sells for $19.99, but if I were you, I'd hold out for the coffee table version due out this Spring with full color pictures! It's a steal at just $49.95!!!! Razz

Will there be a pop-up book?

.

Something like this.......



Woof.

ROFL

hey Gman, not only you're good at TILES but also origami.

ROFL...you all haven't changed a bit!!! Damned, I can't keep a straight face around here, every post tends to crack me up. G-man...definitely a pop-up version will be available.

Da Silva, thanks for the link...can't get it to work here at the office, hopefully it will when I get home.

Henrik, as for the two wheel challenge...oh hell yes!!! Any place, any time...LOL! Attorney Required Disclaimer: the phrase any place, anytime does NOT actually mean any place or any time. We respectfully reserve the right to brag as if we're the greatest two (or four) wheel pilot on the planet, while also being able to turn down any & all request for challenges that are not considred RacerX's home tracks. RacerX also reserves the right to have a permanent #2 pilot on the track with him at all times whom could (& will be) used to take out any challenger that was about to beat RacerX. End of disclaimer. You just say when and where!!!!

greg99-whoa...I thought you were 29??? The legal age of driving is 23 in Switzerland??? Oops...please forgive....Ohh, and while I'm asking for forgiveness, I better fess up about that little tramp...er, uhhh...I mean that crazy reporter Consuelo. In a nutshell, we skipped off together, went to all sorts of crazy islands, and deserted places....she was my personal little sex slave for months, then one day she met someone richer & younger....little tramp (ran into some retired race guy named Toranasuki Takagi) and dropped me like a lead balloon! That's the real reason RacerX drank himself into a coma....you women!!! Oh yeah, and for Dani: Kinky! (In case Henrik misses it...LOL)

Senninha, don't tell him (he might not open up any unmarked packages) but I've discretely mailed 5 pairs of unwashed, stinky socks to DaSilva! The packages is a plain brown box addressed to him, from a "secret admirer"...

Wuff...I've gotta run. Work is calling...

Later,
RacerX

Let me get this straight...
Takagi is now "doing" the girl RacerX use to do...
Thus indirectly, takagi has "done" RacerX.

With these two degrees of separation, I say RacerX is now the leader of us all.

(only way to take his place is to be "done" by Takagi directly....)

So Rx is peter-in-laws with Takagi? Hen with that much juice you might want to stay clear of a rematch.

Nice Racer X!

I sure hope you're practicing on two wheels...because there is nothing I'd love more than the throw a former Shamu World Driving Champ a freakin' beating on the track.

Glad you back man...

BTW the really really hot nurse...we need pics for verification

google image search for "hot nurse" gives LOTS of results. Liked the gloves on this one, thought she could assist Werner with a procedure....


I will say the ridiculous boob job is not appealing.

As casting director for the Racer X movie, I like this one....


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H8R...if I knew how to load a pic on this place, I'd post one...but since I don't...H'mm...Oh I know: I can e-mail one to ya!!! ROFL...I'll see if I can PM it too ya!

Damned Srrh...you and TC are killing me!!!! That sounds sooooo wrong...LOL!

G-Man, you can cast it and maybe we can get Cine_man to film it...ROFL, I guarantee you it'd bring in more money than that stupid Speed Racer crap did this past year...even if it IS a "B-Flick" porno....ROFL.

Oh man, maybe we can get one of Dani's ex-boyfriends to play my part???? (Sh*t, I better lay off, or I'll have to send a dozen cases of M&M's to that girl!!!)

Racer-X...

you have email!